True Or False- Pain Has The Power To Position You?
Have you experienced pain?
Have you ever lost a person, a dream, your faith, your health?
If you’ve felt fear, disappointment, regret, grief, betrayal- you’ve suffered & its painful.
BETTER QUESTION— Have you put purpose to your pain? Meaning to your suffering?
OR, is the pain holding you back, keeping you down, & wrecking your health/life?
If pain has positioned you in a destructive way, I don’t want that for you.
I’ve been there and its crippling at worst, overwhelming at best.
Instead, I want you position yourself for the good, to honor your pain & suffering & then transform it into purpose, meaning, & a way to serve outside of yourself.
This is a picture of me at 14, my brother (& forever buddy) Randy, & our baby sister, Taylor (most adorable cheeks ever, right).
Sadly, this was the last picture we have together with her.
Our mom had just returned to work from maternity leave, took our sister to the sitter, & hours later, was picking my brother & I up at school to tell us we would never see Taylor again this side of heaven. She was completely healthy and happy, but at just 4.5 months old, died of #SIDS.
Imagine, you kiss your loved one goodbye on a normal day, & never see him/her again. Its likely your worst nightmare, as its mine too.
Losing Taylor unexpectedly & so young, was tragic, & changed all of our lives forever in devastating ways. Even today, the devastation lives on for some involved.
This was and is the pain & the suffering. This was and is NOT the purpose.
True. Pain Does Have The Power to Position You. But, YOU Get To Choose How.
Today, for me, there is meaning & purpose in this tragedy & pain.
This purpose positions me to love, show up for, serve, & see my own children with indescribable gratitude.
This loss will forever influence the way I see life, & the way I relate to others. The way I spend my time & where I focus my energy.
It wasn’t always this way though. The years after our sister’s death were rough- very rough.
Then, much later when I became a parent, I was terrified of losing my kids to death. This fear haunted me much too often.
I was stuck in my pain even though, I thought I had moved on & healed from it.
The truth was though, it was just time that had moved on, not me, not my healing. I was still gripping onto the pain and the fear. Thats really all my body and soul knew how to do – grip it tightly and somehow control or avoid the feelings and fear.
How Has Pain Positioned You Today, in Your Life?
Do you have anything in your life that you’re still holding onto? Maybe you think you’re controlling it but its controlling you?
Maybe you don’t even know it consciously, but you’re carrying around this pain, the fear of it happening again, & all of the mental, emotional, & physical suffering that comes with it… addictions, bitterness, anger, isolation, control, health issues, etc.
Heres How You Can Position Your Pain For Purpose.
Heres how my pain was transformed to purpose & maybe it can be something you consider as well.
1) I listened to the symptoms and invited God into the situation
2) I went to counseling & honored my mental & emotional health instead of suppressing, neglecting, or stigmatizing my experience as weakness.
3) I let my pain FUEL me but not DRIVE me.
So lets say you’re in this right now. And, you want to consider these steps toward more freedom, meaning, & purpose, despite your pain.
Here are 3 things to guide you to transform your pain to purpose.
- God has a way of revealing to you in a loving way what it is that you’re holding onto. No matter the circumstances God’s love is healing, you can trust God’s healing love even if you can’t trust anything else right now. All you have to do is allow God in & accept the love, grace, & hope that follows.
- Your mental & emotional health matters tremendously. Your mental/emotional health is directly tied to your physical & relational health. There is restorative power in attending to your thoughts and feelings. A good counselor can help you walk through trauma, process it, & grow from it. Self-help alone can not offer this as effectively. You need a safe & qualified professional to guide you, if you’re looking to overcome mental & emotional injury most effectively.
- Loss that you’ve experienced could DRIVE you sure. And if so, you could be controlling, bitter, reactive, defensive, possessive & lots of other destructive behaviors. This is not meaning or purpose. You don’t want this for your life. Don’t let pain DRIVE you. Instead, let your pain to FUEL you— this can humble you, awaken you, motivate you, sustain you, & allow you to serve outside of yourself & help someone else who is (believe it or not) in a very similar situation.
If you have pain that you’d like to transform to purpose, Im here to encourage you.
- Feel free to share in the public comments below.
- Or, reach out to me privately in the message box below.